


Lingering Doubts

by katling



Series: Worthy of such faith [5]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 4
Genre: M/M, Past Drug Use, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3847801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, here I am, back with more of this pairing. I am truly going to go down with this ship! :D This is a bit of an interlude more than anything else. I basically needed to write this bit in order to write the next bit. It's set just after Yuma's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingering Doubts

Ajay woke with a start, his breath catching in his throat for a moment until he remembered where he was and relaxed. Behind him, Sabal murmured unintelligibly and tightened the arm that was thrown over Ajay’s chest. Outside, he could hear the low murmur of the guards at the outpost. Everything was normal… or as normal as it got these days. Even the rather enthusiastic celebratory sex he’d had with Sabal to celebrate the demise of Yuma Lau was starting to feel normal. 

He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly as the fractured images from the dream that had awoken him drifted in his mind. Fucking Yuma and her fucking drugs. He’d thought drugs were fun and cool when he was back home in the US but now he was completely and utterly over them. Having to fight for your life while whacked out of your gourd was not something he considered to be _fun_.

He shifted back a little into Sabal’s warmth. He remembered that there had been a… letter from his Mom. Except he hadn’t been able to find it afterwards so he had no idea if it was real or something he’d just imagined. 

_The truth is Kyrat was always going to change you. That’s why we never discussed home._

Whether it was real and something he’d read or just something he knew his Mom would have said to him, it was absolutely correct. Kyrat _had_ changed him. Every time he thought of his life back home, it seemed so… small. The people he’d thought were friends seemed equally as small. All the shit he’d gotten into seemed so stupid compared to the situation in Kyrat.

But it wasn’t the memory of the letter that had woken him up, it was the visions of Sabal that had reared their ugly head and yanked him out of his sleep. Sabal, all religious fervour and ruthlessness, cutting people’s throats and talking about a cleansing. It was… unsettling. He knew Sabal was religious, a true believer in Kyra, but the idea that he would do something like that… he didn’t like to think about it.

Sabal shifted behind him and nuzzled the back of his neck. “Ajay?” he said sleepily.

“Mmhmm,” he said, closing his eyes.

“Everything alright?”

Ajay was silent for a moment. “Yeah.”

He heard Sabal draw in a breath and let it out slowly. “No, it’s not,” he said, sounding more awake.

Ajay sighed. “It’s… nothing important.”

“Ajay,” Sabal said patiently. He then encouraged Ajay to turn over and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Tell me.”

Ajay shuffled closer to his lover and sighed. “Just… fucking Yuma and her fucking drugs.”

“What did she do to you?” Sabal sounded concerned and he raised Ajay’s head until he could look at him properly.

“Just something that made me hallucinate all sorts of shit.” He hesitated. “Not to mention her diatribes about Mom and her effect on Pagan Min.”

Sabal was silent for a moment. “You believe her?”

“What reason does she… did she… have to lie to me?” Ajay shrugged. “She sounded really pissed about it. Said Mom made him soft, a shell of a man, that he stopped being a king when she came along.”

Sabal snorted. “If what we see is soft then I hate to think what he was like before.”

“I know.” Ajay gave a small laugh. “But I guess he changed in some way or she wouldn’t be so pissed about it.”

Sabal gave him a long look. “So what were these hallucinations that you are trying to avoid talking about?”

Ajay sighed. “I was hoping you’d forget about that.”

The older man licked his lips and gave Ajay a shrewd look. “They were about me. You would not be evading the question so much if they were not.”

Ajay buried his face in Sabal’s neck as he winced and grimaced. “Yeah,” he said, his voice muffled.

Sabal ran a hand through Ajay’s hair then he rolled them over so that Ajay was lying on his back and he was on his side beside him. He propped up his head with one hand and rested his other hand on Ajay’s chest in what he hoped was a comforting manner, giving him a connection without overwhelming him.

“Tell me,” he said firmly. “I will not have this fester between us. What did you see?”

Ajay licked his lips and placed one hand over Sabal’s on his chest. “I saw… you. You were… acting like a religious fanatic. Cutting people’s throats and saying they’d betrayed Kyra by supporting Amita. Talking about a carrying out a cleansing in Kyra’s name.” He looked away. “And then when I contacted you, you started talking about Kyra looking down on us. It… just hit a little close to the bone of those visions.”

Sabal was more than a little taken aback and for a moment he couldn’t find any words. Then he ran his hand up Ajay’s chest to his chin and turned his head back to face him.

“It is true that I… believe,” he said with a troubled frown. “But Kyra is not a vengeful goddess. This… cleansing you mention would be… wrong.”

Ajay heaved a sigh of relief and Sabal frowned.

“You believed these visions might come true?”

“I was afraid they would,” Ajay admitted slowly and a bit painfully. “You’re very driven, Sabal. I’ve seen people like that. A bit different but the fundamentals were the same. They… they drove themselves right off a cliff, so to speak.” He placed his hand round the back of Sabal’s neck and pulled him into a slightly desperate kiss. “I don’t want you to do that. I couldn’t…”

Sabal made a small sound and pressed their foreheads together. These visions sent a thread of disquiet through him and only the fact they’d been instigated by Yuma Lau allowed him to dismiss them. Anything Yuma had her hands in was corrupted and diseased. Thus these visions could only be wrong. 

“I will not,” he said with quiet fervency. “I promise you, Ajay, I will not.”

Ajay let out a shuddering sigh. “Good. That’s… good.” 

He wanted to believe Sabal and from the way the man relaxed and drew them both down to sleep again, he had succeeded in at least assuaging Sabal’s worries, if not his own entirely. And yet… he couldn’t help that little voice of doubt that whispered in the back of his mind.


End file.
